I sat up last night posting links to news stories that I was finding on the web regarding what was going on with the attack on our embassies and anything that could be tied to it. I made a long blog post of everything that I found. Today I sat and watched part of the Memorial Service and cried for our four fellow Americans and their families....I also cried for all of us. The tears were a mixture of sadness for the lives lost, and the families that will never hold their own again. They were also tears of frustration and uncertainty.
I'm 40 yrs old and since I was a young girl I have watched the news and stayed current on what was going on around us. That was one thing that my Daddy instilled in me. He always told us we needed to open our eyes and know what was going on around us and I took that to heart at a young age. As a young girl, I remember listening to the radio nonstop when John Lennon was gunned down because it was news. I was glued to the TV when Reagan was shot. When George Bush Sr was up for election I played at making up questions that I would ask if I had the opportunity. When I got older my boyfriend was in the Airforce. During Dessert Shield and Dessert Storm I went to support meetings, organized a college wide rally....I tried to find out everything I could about what was going on with the war. After we married (now divorced) and moved overseas my Patriotism grew even stronger and my desire to know about things around me grew. It's just something that is part of how I tick. I have spent nights reading about Political figures (those that I agreed with and didn't agree with) and devouring internet news as well as regular news.
In saying that, I can honestly say that I have never felt the way I feel at this very moment. I can count a few times in my life that there was a moment that stood out to me. A moment that I knew that life was changing. This feels like one of those moments. I just can't explain it. For the past few days I have watched apologies being thrown out to people who have every intention of causing as much harm and destruction as possible to our people and our interest. I have listened to blame being placed on some movie clip. What I haven't heard or seen is a hell-fire stand for our Country. I haven't seen one person in the Administration get off the fence, stop worrying about what those other countries may think, and stand up for America. We have had some dilly-dallying over the ramifications of free speech....well...I ask you..do we have free speech or not? The last I checked it was a guaranteed right in our Constitution.
We don't have time for a free speech debate. We don't have time to argue politics. I don't care if the President is Republican, Democrat or a Third Party whoever....He is supposed to be the leader of our country and by God he needs to step his butt up and start leading. I don't personally care for his politics or policy making decisions but stand up for us PLEASE. I want the security of knowing that my President will take no crap when it comes to his Country. It's kind of like a child knows that he/she is safe with their parents. My kids know that if anyone or anything threatens them, or Heaven forbid hurts one of them, there will be hell to pay. We should have that same feeling with our Administration even if we don't agree with them on policy. For the first time in my life I feel an uncertainty that I have never felt....even on 9/11. Who is leading us and where are we going? For the first time I don't know.
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